Quinn Robert Ireland

What a magnificent thing I have witnessed this week -- and I'll obviously never be the same. Watching my beautiful wife bring our son safely into the world was, in my eyes, the ultimate human experience. I don't think I can do it justice, but I'm gonna try anyway with one of my patented play-by-play epics. This will not be an easy read, and may have to be done in episodes.

As our due date approached, some folks were balking at our decision to stay at home on Denman until it was time to deliver. We're glad we went that way, but it was a close one. Just after midnight last Wednesday, Bethany suddenly started to feel heavy, frequent contractions that left us no doubt the baby was on its way. There had been pre-labour clearly happening throughout Tuesday, though the contractions were spread way out and not all that intense. We spent Tuesday night chilling at home with Allison, Bethy's best friend who we were lucky to have on the birth team. Good thing for us the big event happened with Al already up here, saving the three hour delay of her driving up-island. She'd actually been here one night already, and decided to stay a second based on the contractions we'd observed all Tuesday.

Still, we thought for sure it was days away -- there was no pattern to the events yet. First-time moms are often late, and often go through hours and hours of early labour. We were an exception to that generality, and it absolutely took us by surprise (we ate quite badly that day, a late White Spot lunch followed by munchies and a movie for dinner). Allison had gone to sleep on the couch, while B&I holed up in our room. We were wide awake, discussing the journey to get Allison to the train home the next day when the big ones started to come hard and heavy. I logged the time and duration of the contractions for maybe ten minutes before it became clear it was time. We decided together to get the wheels in motion! I woke Allison up and called the local doctor, who drove over to our place right away. Based on the info I'd given him, he must have called out the ambulance and the first-responder firefighters to assist -- they arrived a few minutes later. As calmly as I could (not very) I loaded up the car -- that quickly devolved from a level-headed heaving of the pre-packed suitcases, into a scrambly game of grab'n'go. Dr. Scruton checked Bethany's progress and told us the baby could be born in between one and four hours. So he directed the ambulance crew to get her into Comox ASAP. By now, the overnight call-out ferry crew had been alerted and were preparing the ship for an emergency run to Buckley Bay. Allison was allowed to ride in the ambulance, while I followed in our vehicle.

The ferry was ready and waiting, and the crew were all smiles despite the early hour. This was the same crew who'd just finished a nine hour shift, had gone to bed, only to be paged out for yet another crossing around 1am. Normally such duties are for some kind of emergency on the negative side, so hopefully taking the labouring wife of the newest crewman made it somewhat pleasureful for them! Lots of well-wishes along the way, everyone was just great. A lot of the friends we've made at both the ferry and the fire hall had to get up for this action on our behalf.

I rode across in the ambulance, being not of much use to anyone. Allison gently reminded me that I needed to make a key phone call, which had completely slipped my mind -- would have been a bit tricky WITHOUT A MIDWIFE!! Anyhow, my page was answered promptly and she assured us she'd meet us at St. Joseph's.

I'd fallen behind the ambulance several minutes making contact with Amy the Midwife and taking some instruction from one of the medics that I never actually heard. Caught up as we got into town however, and everyone got to the hospital at the same time -- me, Bethy and Al, and Amy. Pretty much instantly, Amy's presence proved a calming influence -- something about the way she carries herself, her tone of voice, and the fact we'd become acquainted through multiple visits leading up to the big day. I gathered as much of the gear as I could carry, and in we went. By this time it was about 2am I figure. Many were amused at the amount of stuff we'd brought, and I had more back in the car.

We were brought directly to a nice, large delivery room that we'd already seen during a tour several weeks back. That occasion left us feeling confident in the hospital staff and their environment, despite some construction going on around their ward. Capacity was somewhat reduced, so we felt lucky to be in the big room -- the other labour rooms were less than half the size. Bethany got changed between some heavy contractions, and was checked by Midwife Amy who said we were looking at cervical dilation of about six centimetres. I won't get into much medical jargon here, but that's a six out of ten -- ten being the point where she can bear down and push the baby out. Until then, it was vital that Bethany resist the overwhelming urge to push, and that was a total team effort involving all four of us.

In hindsight, I can see an element of shock had set in for me personally because of how quickly things had progressed to this point. A woman's first labour is typically a long, drawn-out affair that evolves slowly and allows plenty of time to come to terms with what's happening. Also, we'd been told at a prenatal class the average first-time baby is 11 days late. So to go from leisurely watching a movie with Allison (December Boys, how fitting! Good choice Al), munching ill-advised snack foods at 10pm to full-on hardcore labour just a few hours later was definitely a shock to Daddy's systems.

So we got down to work. Bethy found a warm shower to be very helpful, training the water on her lower back for some degree of relief from the pressures down there. After that, it was a whole lot of Bethany working through the waves of intense pain by way of breathing techniques and low-pitched vocals -- right up her alley eh! Turns out her chosen profession had equipped her well for this. Amy's calm, soothing voice provided Bethy with a perfect thing to focus on -- her directions were both firm and gentle at the same time. Allison and I were tasked for much of the labour with back-rubbing and hip-squeezing, trying to help open things up and manage the pain. Occasionally, we offered words of encouragement, mopping of brow, and sips of water and ginger ale. Bethy's blood sugar was way down due to our collective poor nutrition all day. She'd gotten sick in the ambulance and lost whatever questionable content was in her compacted tummy, so really she was working on an empty tank.

Bethy had certainly done her homework, and to a lesser extent, so had I. We'd been to classes, read books, spoken with experienced moms. She displayed excellent discipline and presence of mind to recall the tips, see what worked best in the moment and run with it. She says there were three contractions at the height of transition that had her thinking about the epidural. Those were the scariest sounds for me to hear, like she was riding the edge of her composure. They were also the only times she let loose with profanity! Put me on that table and it would have sounded like Earl Weaver on Manager's Corner.

Bless her heart, Bethany was able to get through those mammoth contractions and we eventually had the natural birth we'd hoped for. She did try the laughing gas once, but found the mask restricted her breathing too much and it wasn't worth it. It was also during this stage that her most endearing action of the night took place. As I was standing bedside and she was in between some of the heaviest action, she reached out and silently tugged on the zipper of my pants which I'd forgotten to replace after peeing. What a woman -- Quinn and I are in good hands!

Amy did an exam and told us, "Good news, you're at ten centimetres!" That meant Bethy could forget about resistance and push, push, push with each contraction. She lit up with a huge smile, knowing the home stretch was upon us. She says this part was much more her style as a person of action, and it only took her maybe a dozen pushes to get the baby out. Early in that sequence when crowning began, Amy took Bethany's hand and guided it down to feel the baby's head. I was watching in amazement as the head started to become visible -- a furry little head with hair! This was my light switch moment. It became fully evident I was to become a father, and was meant to become one. Other dads have described it to me that way, that all of the sudden life changes forever. Every aspect of being would from now on be approached with another vital consideration. While it makes perfect sense for a man to be fully aware that such a change is coming, clearly it's not the same as it is for a woman who's been making those proxy decisions for nine months already. I don't know why it is this way, but it is!

Bethany's power was simply awesome. I found myself captivated by her, and took my attention away from the crowning head for a short time to simply watch her work. A few pushes later, I looked down and was caught a bit off guard -- there was my child's face! A scrunched-up person clearly going through a dramatic shift between worlds, the face showed an expression of duress. With only another one or two pushes, he was out. I was overwhelmed and the tears started to flow, Allison and I both. Bethany was more pulled together, if you can believe it! We weren't blubbering by any means, but we'd been through quite a trial of spirit and now got to enjoy the ultimate reward.

Amid the bustle of the midwife and now a couple of nurses, I glanced down to see if we'd be meeting a girl or a boy. I was surprised and delighted nobody had called it out yet, so I proudly and weepily said to Bethany, "We have a son!". As per our birth plan, Quinn was brought right to her chest for that vital skin-to-skin meeting. His cries were wonderful, and didn't last long once in his mother's arms. I moved to be beside my heroic wife and to marvel at what we'd done. I picked up a few things being said around us, time of birth, we still have to birth the placenta, stuff like that. Amy prepared the cord to be cut, but we wanted to let it stop pulsing on its own first. Once that happened, Amy told me it feels something like cutting calamari -- you know, more pregnancy terminology should be translated to pub grub language to help us guys out! I gave it a clean snip, and our newborn was free.

We got to enjoy a whole hour together before the poking and prodding began -- a precious hour that will last a lifetime. I felt it all -- elated it had gone so well, satisfied with the environment, proud of the birth team, and awestruck at the ancient privilege of reproduction.

We had long decided on a name for both a boy and a girl, so it wasn't long before we got to announce our choice. We did want to have a look just to be sure, as parents often do. Really, we didn't see any reason to change our mind, so there he was!

Quinn Robert has had quite a year, and is already into his second decade now. One week old tomorrow. We're going to soak up every moment, every step of the way because those wiser than us have stressed how quickly they grow. We will not take anything for granted.

An Irish proverb: "A new born babe brings light to the cottage, warmth to the hearth and joy to the soul, for wealth is family -- family is wealth."